Hi, I’m Vanjing; an ordinary Filipina who successfully married to an ordinary wonderful American guy name Ken.
Actually, I’m a native Siquijorian who was searching for my dream guy. Who has dreams to become reality. Searching for a guy who’s suitable in my simplicity, has a strong belief, values our cultures and generations. A guy who would accept being me and what I am.
My story begin when I published my name at Asian Connection of November 1996. Exactly 5 months April 1997; I started receiving mails from different guys. All in all (11) eleven guys. Among them was Ken. I responded all of them quickly as I can. Back then ain’t no problem the mailings, it’s a bit cheaper than today. You know it’s hard to choose which one is the most and much closer to our heart. I am only attracted to one guy (which is my sweetie pie now). Before him, one guy from Boston visited me twice. There was rumors that he met one lady who was a passers-by where he rent a hotel. Although I was victimized by a “false love” I would not tolerate this kind of behavior. So, when I met him in person I rejected him right away, I can’t stand it.
Anyway, Ken and I enjoyed corresponding each other by snail mail for a while (back then, we don’t have computer for rent in our (community). Until someone got his attention, he quit corresponding with me. He thought he found his true love who he could share his life with. Not soooo… their relationship wasn’t work out good. He visited her twice and there was always had troubles. Although he quit, I’m still hoping someday he might realize. For the meantime, I kept corresponding some other guys. But they’re not the best as he is.
Here how it goes. One day, while I was at home I saw the post man passed by delivered mails to our neighbors. I went out side and joke at him if I have mails from abroad. He stared at me and said “I think you got one, let me check it”. My heart started pounding, my hands are shaken. I felt like I was floating of happiness. I can’t wait to open it while walking back home with tears. What a big SURPRISE; it was from him and with $20.00 dollars for mailings. It’s unbelievable, the man that been gone for awhile is back. It’s pretty amazing, God hears my prayers. He wrote only few lines stating “you are very deserving person, take care Ken”. It was very meaningful, isn’t it. That night , I coudn’t sleep. There’s so many questions bothered on my mind. I asked myself if I would do this again, shall I win??? What is if I’m fail? I don’t want to expect much more again.
Before hand, I referred one of my friend what I’m supposed to do. Because, I’m scared of hurting again, she gave me some ideas how to do it and or do the same way. Yap, I did the same like what he does; short message. On December of 1998, he replied with 5 pages back-to-back letters with Philippines money enclosed,. that was his left over from the trip.
In March, he has plan to meet me (his 3rd trip) in person. I was stunt and nervous. I never thought how fast his imagination was. I thouhgt it was only my hallucinations.
Couple months after in that same year, he set his visitation. I asked one of my foster sister what will I do if I meet him in face to face. Because I’m a bit shy type of person. I’ve got tongue tied sometimes especially foreign people. She gave me some hints.
Time has come, I traveled from my place to Cebu City. I arrived in Cebu City early in the morning. But first, I went to my long time best friend Lolit. I stayed over night there; woke up early to prepare myself and get ready to face the scenario. I took her with me to the airport. We got there on time but we’re in the wrong place instead of exit. We waited almost half day and nobody showed up. I looked around, people coming in/out at the hallway but still no sign of Ken.
However, we had agreement earlier that if in case we misses each other in the airport, I’m gonna meet him at Center Point hotel. Lolit and I took a taxicab back to downtown where the hotel is. We came inside but the guard stoppped us. They want my valid ID. While searching my ID, I was thinking not to go hurry. It was time for lunch anyway, so we decided to eat our lunch at Gaisano Metro, not far from the hotel. We ordered some food and enjoyed. While we’re eating I was nervous again I kept shaken not because it was cold; it is just because of facing the scenario. I tried to calm down but won’t hep it. When we finished, we went back to the hotel where he was waited on me.
Here we go again. I started shaken I’d got ready my ID so they let us in. He was upstairs at 8th floor waiting on me. While were in the elevator I convinced my friend to knocked the door. That was it, she knocked the door 3 times and me standing at the hallway. He open, it wasn’t me. He asked where’s Vergie? I said Hi!!!!!!.
So he welcome us. I looked at him and studied for a while. No doubts he’s pretty nice guy. As a matter of facts, he got 2 big rooms reserved (good for 2) supposed to be one for him, and the other one for me. It’s great, that means he respected me so much and I does the same way. But it wasn’t gonna happen. There were 2 beds in one room; so I decided to sleep in the other bed while he was on the other bed fall asleep as he was tired from the trip. He woke up early and I woke up late. It wasn’t take longer to judge each other. We had the same feelings and very much in common. We discussed about how to meet my folks.
That day, we spent the whole day going to the beautiful spots in Cebu City. We had lots of fun and had a good time spending together. We walked hand in hand that no air can pass through. Right then, we agreed to meet my folks. We took the fastest ferry as we called “Super Cat” via Dumaguete City. We arrived in Dumaguete late in the afternoon, the fast ferry boat scheduled at 2:00 PM was already gone bound for Siquijor. So, we stayed over night at the hotel called “Bethel Guest house”. The next morning we got ready to catch the “Delta” first trip at 6:00 AM. We arrived in Larena on time. We found a tricycle that can be trusted. We got in and drive home in my place barangay Cangmalalag a 15 to 30 minutes drive from the pier. When we got there, everybody WELCOME HIM.
After I introduced him to my folks, we proceed to a well-known beach resort name “COCO GROVE”. We love the accomodations so we stayed there not longer than two weeks. Within two weeks, we had a great time to know each other.
Before he left, we had a von voyage party (despidida). The next morning, we got ready to depart bound for Dumaguete. But unfortunately it was a nightmare for us. The boat we supposed to take has a problem. That ‘s the only scheduled at 9:00 A.M. We should take the first trip so we’ll be in Cebu daytime. Ken was aggravated. We tried to find another way and luckily, there was a small boat (banka) scheduled at 2:00 PM last trip bound for Dumaguete. It was very slow, Ken was so uncomfortable with the seats made by wood. He kept standing and saying that hurt on his behind. That’s rigth, we got what we paid for. We had nothing to do just to take it. Amazingly, we arrived in Dumaguete on time. The Super Cat bound for Cebu was waiting for the passengers from the small boat. That was great, he feels comfortable that time and rest for awhile. “HAPPY SAILING”..Smile….
We arrived in Cebu late but at least. We stayed overnight at Mercedes hotel. We thought it was a good one, not really. We didn’t get sleep that night because mosquitoes are buzzing around us. In the morning I toke a shower and get ready for breakfast before going to the airport.
While we’re there I was so nervous again. He tried to eased me but I was still uncomfortable. You know WHY? Because it was my first time to fly by airplane in my entire life. I was scared to death, what if something happen to us. Anyway, travelling with someone special was great. We arrived in Manila on time. Then we took a taxicab and proceed to the hotel. When we got there, Ken and the guys who dealt the receptionist. I did not pay attention about it. I only wondered why the taxicab driver and desk clerk have some kind of a deal. I never thought it was their gimmick how to rif off people.
The following day, I went to the clerk and asked for our bills. We need to get out early as Ken flight was 4:00 PM. I questioned them what was going on why our bills are so high. That’s not supposed to be what we estimated for. They denied the allegations but we knew they are the insider conspiracy. I argued with them about it. They kept denying so we had nothing to do just to paid it off the extra charge, wasting our time.
We went to the airport, I dropped him off and give him a goodbye kiss and say goodbye. I proceed to the domestic airport returning back home in Cebu and catched the boat for Siquijor. Since that trip, he’s been visited me quarterly. In the 2nd trip the proposal was in. He asked me if I will marry him. And I gave him of course my big “YES”. He put the ring on my shaken finger. ‘Coz I never thought my dream come true. We engaged then, we’re very excited to get together. We had the same feelings, but the most important in relationship is HONESTY, LOVE & RESPECT to each other. Relationship won’t prosper without it. You must respect and love each other and be truthful and faithful to our partner.
Then after 6 months, he called me that my papers is ready to process. I flew to Manila and start the process. I stayed in one of my foster mother and accomplished all the requirements. Took physical examination at Saint Luke’s and CFO and get ready for the final task which is the “interview”.
Ken back again, just to be with me in my interview, but it wasn’t work. They can still deny if there’s something wrong. I never thought I had that mistake. So, I was failed in the first interview. We went back home to the hotel very frustrated and disappointed. Ken doesn’t want to leave without me. But we had nothing to do just to accept failures and wait for the second chance.
He left me behind in Manila. It was sad, teary and overwhelming situation that someone you love leave you. When he got back home, he did not waste his time. He called right away the office of Senator Strom Thurmond (deceased now) hoping if he could help us. They checked my status in Manila. After 6 months, I recieved notification that I’m ready for my 2nd interview. Ken travelled to the Philippines for the fourth times just to be with me again. I brought my son with me if in case they needed him. They approved my visa right then and how we was happy about it. At last our struggle was over. So, they gave me a piece of paper where and when to pick up my visa, it was Tuesday..
The day has come, and we waited on line. Shockingly, when they called my name, they said the cannot release my visa that day because there’s a problem with my name, misspelled. So, they ordered us to go back by Friday. We go back Friday and thank God it was done. We both are so happy. We reunited again and LOVE conquers all.
Sunday afternoon, we flew together back to his home in South Carolina. We’re very thankful and I believe that all of those nightmares and how stormy it was; there’s a REWARD in the end.
While I was in Siquijor, Philippjnes, he dreamed of having a baby boy. He said, when on his way back home from Florida he heard the voice of the Lord the his dream will become true. Voice said that it was your dream having a baby so you will get it. Not knowing that I was pregnant. One day, I felt very unusual, vomitting, dizziness and irritation. I went to one of our close friend faith healer. I asked him what’s wrong with me. He just looked at me and only couple words come out from his mouth. He said, ” you’re pregnat”. And I replied, “Really”, I never thought he could have children as he don’t have in his previous marraige. So, I did not wait another day, the next morning I went to Cebu to have a pregnancy test done. Whe I got there, I was little nervous of what is the result. I tried to calm down and take it easy whatever happens. I came in and get my urine test, I’m waiting nervously while she prepared. She called me and look at the thing. I was so happy when it’s started flashing the positive sign. I was pregnant, I can’t wait to tell Ken. Whe I got home, I calle him and todl him the good news. He was so happy that God finally give his precious dream come true.
When I got here, we went to our OB-GYNE. They performed ultrasound and they found out it was a baby boy. About 3 months later I delivered a healthy baby boy at Marlboro Park hospital in Bennettsville, South Carolina, December 09, 1999. It was so close when is Ken’s birthday, ten days more to be father and son, same natal day. The only thing is they induced me so he entered in this wonderful world earlier as what supposed to be expected . It was so cool and snowing; anyway, that was expected during winter. He was born healthy weighing 8.4 lbs. Doctor and nurses called him the only alert baby boy of all babies on that day. My OB-GYNE was American-Indian. My son’s Pediatrician was a Filipina and the nurse who assisted my delivery was Michelle a Filipina also. After three days in the hospital they sent us home.
After how many days, I suffered an unusual feelings. Not knowing that I’ve been suffering anxiety/panic attacked disorder. Back then we don’t have insurance. Other says; I’m homesick. Not really; Ken has nothing to do than to believed on the hearsay. He brougth me back home in Philippines. But there’s no help at all, I still have a bad feelings. After how many months I decided to be with him. I can’t stand being alone, the emptiness in life. He came back to Philippines and brought me back here in USA.
Now, I’m a stay home Mom, taking care of my two babies which is my hubby and our son. We currently residing in lone star state ended into a Happily Ever After. I’m proud of him no matter how rocky our LIFE was; LIFE must go on. And I believe that if we have faith in God, LOVE is powerful. He’s my LOVE, MY LIFE and my EVERYTHING. For my hubby Ken, thank you so much you’re always there for your son and me all the time. Showing your unconditional love and unending support is very precious to me. You are a precious gift from God. And we love you and I always grateful for having you into my LIFE… I LOVE YOU…
Therefore, those who still searching, keep up your mind; earch the right woman, down to earth, worthy, loyal, respectful, honest and faithful. A woman that can be trusted and willing to spend the rest of her life with you.
We heard there are few filipina known as “gold diggers”; but not all. Not even only in our country buy I guessed it happened all over the world. Don’t be discourage folks, LIFE is precious than gold. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what we matter the most is your attitude. You can still enjoy your life, no matter what. This is like a game, we gamble in order to win. Whatever might be, LIFE MUST GO ON…GOOD LUCK.!!! Just choose the right ONE..
So, for the guys out there good luck in your search for a lifetime partner. And hope our story will give you INSPIRATION…
TO ALL GUYS WHOM ARE FIRST TIMER OR WHO WANT TO TRAVEL ABROAD PLEASE BE AWARE OF THIS FOLLOWING.
I’m not descriminating my country, I’m only concerned about your safety. I know how to handle those people who tried to rip us off. They never ever win, instead, I fought back and they can’t do it for me. Because I believe in God and HE won’t leave us. My advice for the beginner, much better your pen pal/fiancee will meet you in the airport. So that you have a guide on how to deal the crook in some big cities especially in the airport. If you want to change money, don’t go to the black market. Just go to the real money changer, like bank, hotel and shopping mall. It really doesn’t matter if they’re lower rate than outside. Importantly, you’re safe away from the swindlers. If someone approached you try to convinced because they are higher than other competitors please do not pay attention. If ever you’re convinced by them; PLEASE DO NOT COUNT YOUR MONEY OUTSIDE THEIR AREA. Because whatever happen to it they can deny. ALWAYS count your money while you’re in their area; if possible infront of them. Sometimes they have some kind of tricks like what they did for us. What I did before was, I did not move where am at. I counted it by hundred (depending on what bills by (100’s, 500’s, 1000’s) very well very slowly to make sure it is complete. I was shocked because one half was gone. I have no idea how they do that. Even if you have four eyes watching, they can still trick you. You know what I did? After we noticed one half of the designated amount was gone; I returned the money and grabbed back our money. He refused to give it back but I kept fighting with them. I’m sure if you will not count it by bills infront of them one half of it is gone. Please be careful guys, I don’t want what had happened to my fiancee ( it wasn’t me ) will happen to you. And please do not pay attention when they say “it’s not safe to count your money here” that’s pretty obvious, isn’t it. Means they done something wrong.
DON’T PAY ATTENTION if you noticed they have some kind of a drama. Like panicking etc. they’re trying to mess up your count. It is better if they give you the complete amount.
Therefore, how we tackled the hardship, turbelences if you are meant for each other; you’ll be reunited by the power of LOVE. Since then, we made so many trips, we’re cautios about it. Ken made 7 trips before I came here. And we thank the one above who always protect us. THE END….